He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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