If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
