Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
