I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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