ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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