I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
