I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
