It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Where is the hickey?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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