I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
