I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
