Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
