We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
