i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
