Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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