I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
