Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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