did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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