Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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