Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
