i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
