I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
