my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
