Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
