Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
