She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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