You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
