Can i not drive my cunt home
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
