I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
