I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
