I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
