I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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