i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
