i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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