ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
