He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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