TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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