I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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