We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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