Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
