Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
