My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
