Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
