She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
