i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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