But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
