C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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