Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
