Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
