Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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