u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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