note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
