Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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