wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
