I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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