Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
