So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's shark week go big or go home
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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