Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
