Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
