Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am naked and annoyed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
