David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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